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Lemony Snicket Anonymous

The Big Guy

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Everyone is grabbing for Lemony Snicket's hot series. But not many peopleknow the truth. For example, did you know that when he is not being attacked by leeches, he plays the accordian? Sometimes he holds meetings with his first hand man, Daniel Handler. Even though he feverishly tries to hide his books, fans rush to get them from even the most hidden places. Who is this strange man, and who is Beatrice? Everyone knows he dedicates his book to this woman, no one knows who she is. When consulted for an interview for this woman, he immediately started weeping buckets and started playing the saddest song on the accordian I ever heard. Snicket's life is most certainly shrouded in mystery.

 
After 47 years of searching, I have finally located an original PHOTO of SNICKET!!!!!!
He is expecting a child, which is supposed to be born on Halloween. No, oh, no!!!
This is not Snicket, but Daniel Handler! 47 years of searching for Snicket, and I come up with his spokesman!?!?! When will we finally locate a true picture of Lemony Snicket's face? Only time will tell.

Sadness is life. Get used to it.